Jamie Green

I've been thinking a lot about regret lately. Thinking of things I've done in the past, how they've shaped who I am, and whether or not I would do things differently if I had the chance. Past boyfriends-- i am fond of the memories but could never go back and wouldn't want to. Mostly I regret not spending enough time with those I care about, not letting them know how much they mean to me. We are packing for our big move to Boston. Memories of my grandmother are everywhere. Little knickknacks she gave me... She was always thinking of me. I wish she were here now. She would be worried about my safety in Boston. Probably try to get me some pepper spray or special door locks. She would be so proud of me now, telling everyone that we are going to "Harvard" and how we were going to figure out how to fix her.

Listening to the Eagles now. Reminds me of my brother. I really treasure the years we lived together in pgh. I miss him. Wish he were coming out to graduation. Feel like calling him now, but he and the kids are probably in bed I am proud of the father he has become. Hear he reads the Nanny book I got him all the time. That makes me happy. Think I'll call him tomorrow.

Drinking Wilcox wine from the winerly near my mom's house. It is sickeningly sweet, but reminds me of my mom, who by the way, i also miss...

off to more packing.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Jamie

2. Jam

3. J

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:

1. jalton

2. jalton13

3. altonj

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. Compassion

2. Tolerance

3. Joy

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. Breasts

2. Veins

3. Teeth

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Italian

2. English

3. Mix of a bunch of other things

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. People I love dying

2. Having children

3. Bugs

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. Smiling

2. Self-reflection

3. Hugs

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. PJs

2. Wedding ring

3. Earrings from wedding

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:

1. Norah Jones

2. Gavin Degraw

3. Couting Crows

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:

1. Sunrise

2. Good Mother

3. Pretty Maids All in a Row

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. Unconditional unexplainable love

2. Trust

3. Support

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):

1. My back hurts

2. I love country music

3. I love WoW

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU

1. Smile

2. Kind eyes

3. Glasses

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. Running

2. Crochet

3. Gardening

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. Get a massage

2. Kiss my husband

3. Visit my family

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:

1. Physician

2. Teacher

3. Carpenter

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. Greece

2. Italy

3. Ireland

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:

1. No favorites yet...

2.

3.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. Have a family

2. Make a difference

3. Live for today

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:

1. I like to fix things

2. I have selective hearing

3. I can eat a lot

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:

1. I like to play dress-up

2. I like to talk about my feelings

3. I care what others think of me

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:

1. Patrick Dempsey

2. Bon Jovi

3.

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:

1. Jodie

2. Shane

3. Julie

Thinking about how much I love my family today. I know that they are far from perfect, but they have always always been there for me. I am so lucky to have grown up around all of my siblings and cousins and grandparents. It makes me sad to see my grandparents getting older and how things aren't like they used to be. My great grandmother will be 95 this year. My whole life she has seemed ageless, sharp and full of energy. Now she is having trouble remembering things. Sometimes she has to be reminded who I am. Traditionally on birthdays she would make a homemade cake of the birthday-person's choice. Today we celebrated my Uncle Chuck's birthday, and I made the cake. There were only 8 people there to celebrate. This may seem like a lot to most people, but growing up at every birthday there were many more. Now everyone lives far away and it is hard to get everyone home together. I so look forward to Christmas or Easter or Thanksgiving, hoping to see as many of my relatives as I can. I feel blessed that my childhood was filled with life and love and laughter with so many special people. I hope that my children will be lucky enough to experience much of the same. I hope that I will have children soon enough and live close enough to my family for that to happen.

Today, while driving home from work (I got out early from work today-- 2:00 pm), I thought I was lost for a second because none of my surroundings looked familiar (I am on an away rotation at an outside hospital about 40 min away). Then I realized that I have just never seen my route in the daylight (I leave at 6am and return at 7pm). Scary.

Who came up with this idea ??????

I love the gesture when someone holds a door open for me. It says "I see you behind me, and I acknowledge that you live in the same world as me. Rather than let the door slam in your face, I will take the extra moment of my life to make your's a little easier." True Courtesy.

Woke up an hour late, although I didn't realize it until I took my good old time getting ready (body lotion, make-up, blow-dry, etc). Was about to make coffee to take with me to work when I looked at the clock and "realized" what time it was. Rushed out of the house while paging the other medical student and totally wiped out on the ice outside of my house. Banged up elbow (thankfully not head). Cell phone went flying and the battery fell off effectively disconnecting me from my important phone call-- had to call the page operator AGAIN. Hopped in the car and tried not to speed, because I can't get any more tickets or I'll have to take another written points test (already had to take one this year.... I swear I'm not a bad driver!). Turned out not to be such a bad day, except that is now 12 AM and I have to get up at 5 so that I am not late tomorrow!

Last night Sandy and I received a personal phone call from the head of our selection committee at MGH (Harvard's Massachusetts General Hospital- #1 program in the country) telling us they want us. I guess sometimes hard work does pay off. I'm still holding my breath until match day (March 17th)!

Got out from work early today! Yippee!

Today, my patient told me (and the rest of my team) that I have a "gift." When expressing how well we are all taking care of her, she singled out me: "Especially her," she said, "She's really something," "She really has a gift."

This is why I am in the field of medicine. For whatever reason, I have made a difference in this woman's life. She actually only has about a month left to live due to the severity of her illness, and I take comfort knowing that in her last moments, I have made her life a little easier, comforted her in some way. It makes me really happy to realize that even the small moments I spend with my patients can make a difference.

Why, after all of these months of reading other people's blogs, am I suddenly compelled to start my own? It has always seemed kind of strange to me to make your deepest thoughts open to the world. I guess I want a place to acknowledge and reflect on my day-to-day feelings, and I hope that I can be more successful typing random thoughts into my computer than I've ever been at keeping a hand-written journal (I will write in them everyday for a week and then nothing for months, and then once the chronology has been interrupted I just sort of give up). Maybe by making my thoughts available to others, I must somehow own up to them in a way that I don't have to if I am the only one reading them. Somehow they seem more real and true when I have to click the "publish" button. Maybe those who know me will be touched by the person they know me to be or surprised by what they newly discover. For those who don't know me (and those who do), maybe you will find truth in the ordinariness of my daily life .... and maybe, so will I.