Seth Milliken

where am i? [Permalink]

Fri Sep 08 18:09:01 PDT 2006

I don't feel real. I look at my hands and they look like they belong to a stranger. I wonder how similar peoples' experiences of a (non-threatening, inoffensive) stranger are. Does saying my hands look like a stranger's effectively communicate how I feel? Even as I watch these hands move in response to my thoughts, I feel nothing substantial in that connection. They might as well be part of a video I have on in the background. The aches and the pains I feel do not belong to me. How can that be? The music that I am listening to does not affect me. When I talk to people, words come out of my mouth that are semantically contiguous to those that have preceded them in the conversation, but I am not in them; they are just words. Where am I?